giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
