Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
