Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
