1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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