she looked like the before picture.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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