So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
