you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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