Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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