you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
