You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
