So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
