i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I need a burrito and a hug.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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