if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize