hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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