She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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