I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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