About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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