you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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