I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm both gender and math confused
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
