thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
