p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
