I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
