i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
