Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
