their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
