did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
