babies were throwing up all over the place
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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