i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
