Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
