how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
