I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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