i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
