she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
