butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
