You work out of a Hotel?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
