Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
