PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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