I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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