Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
