It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
