similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
