Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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