Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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