the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
