Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
