Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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