Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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