When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
