I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
be right there i have to get my cape
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
