i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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