Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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