So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
