I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
