This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
