I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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