he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
